I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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