My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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