we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
