She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
