like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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