dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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