just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
