i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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