Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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