if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
