Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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