i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
