I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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