dude i'm inner monologue high
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
