That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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