I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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