All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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