I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
