I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
