the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
