OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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