We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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