I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
