You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
