New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
