I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
