Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
