worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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