I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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