Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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