Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
