As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
