Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
