dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
