i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
