She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
