You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
