White coat. Heels.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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