mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
