you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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