I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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