this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
