My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize