It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
