I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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