To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
