I'm lost and stupid without you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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