Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
