My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like death gave me a hand job
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
