im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
