is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
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Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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