his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize