so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if i died would you start the facebook group?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
