I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
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soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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