In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I love having hate sex.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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