Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
