Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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