Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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