god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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