Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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