My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
