I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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