but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
