..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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