then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
