You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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