just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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